The 4 Phases of Confidence: How to Build It Step by Step

By Coach Onowa

Ever find yourself wishing you had more confidence before trying something new?

Maybe it’s starting an alcohol-free journey, speaking in front of a crowd, or making a big life change. We often wait for confidence—but the truth is, confidence comes last, not first.

According to Dan Sullivan, confidence is actually built in four phases—and this shift in perspective can change everything.

The 4 Phases of Confidence

1️⃣ Commitment – Decide to Go In

Before confidence can exist, you have to commit.

✔️ “I’m going to give this a real try.”
✔️ “I’ll show up and keep learning.”
✔️ “I may not have all the answers, but I’m willing to start.”

👉 You don’t have to feel ready—you just have to commit.

2️⃣ Courage – Take Action Even With Fear

Courage isn’t about not being afraid—it’s about taking action while feeling afraid.

✔️ “I’m nervous, but I’m doing it anyway.”
✔️ “I don’t know how this will go, but I’m willing to try.”
✔️ “Fear doesn’t mean stop—it means growth is happening.”

👉 Courage is what gets you moving forward, even when doubt creeps in.

3️⃣ Capability – Practice & Build Skills

Once you’ve committed and taken courageous action, you start building capability.

✔️ “I’m getting the hang of this.”
✔️ “I’m learning as I go.”
✔️ “This is starting to feel more natural.”

👉 The more you practice, the more capable you become.

4️⃣ Confidence – Trust in Yourself

Finally, after commitment, courage, and capability—confidence arrives.

✔️ “I know I can do this.”
✔️ “I’ve done it before, and I can do it again.”
✔️ “This is now part of who I am.”

👉 Confidence isn’t the starting point—it’s the result of taking action.

What This Means for You

Next time you find yourself waiting for confidence, remember:

✨ Commit first – Just decide to start.
✨ Lean into courage – It’s okay to feel nervous.
✨ Trust the process – Confidence will come, but you have to build it.

💬 I’d love to hear from you: Where in your life could you shift from waiting for confidence to stepping into commitment and courage? Drop a comment below!

With courage and commitment,
Coach Onowa